“Why God?” Understanding the Doctrine of God

“The past few courses leading to the conclusion of my degree plan all have dealt with me personally. It is clear to me that God is speaking very specifically through the assignments I have encountered thus far. This course will follow suit. The mere fact that it is the final course and coincides with what I believe to be ‘my coming out season.’

The biggest storm of my life emerged in the early part of November 2019 and the billows have raged ever since. What seemed to be the eye of the storm devastated me during Systematic Theology II. What was ironic were the choices for the final paper and the selection God made for me.

On a normal day, I would steer straight towards Jesus and His Bema Seat of Judgment or hover over my all-time favorite, Trinity motif. But not this time. I heard God very clearly suggest, ‘Forgiveness.’ Being the candid, transparent minister I am, I have no shame in disclosing my war with divorce. A text message sent over Iraqi wifi, served me with a surprise only a month into my tour in Baghdad. But it was not alone, but accompanied with records of indiscretions and adultery, leaving me with the very question at hand: ‘Why God?’

Now you understand the irony in God’s choice for my final research paper. I struggled because what I discovered would nip directly at my own soul and will. God certainly has a sense of humor.

And then there was Hermeneutics. Learning to engage biblical text properly, setting in context both the author and audience was a breath of fresh air. It forced me to consider the environment, time, and situation happening for both author and audience. Once again, I heard God’s voice ask me to consider all the characters in my own horror story. Considering, I had just indulged in a 19-page revelation arguing how divine forgiveness is authorized and mandated for believers. And I am in fact, a believer.

Now, God turns it up a notch with the list in Hermeneutics. Ephesians 5:21-33 leaped off the paper and I immediately refused. Surely, God would not torture me with the roles and responsibilities of marriage as it relates to the Passion of Christ. I was wrong, God most certainly would and did.

I say all this to conclude that I am definitely looking to experience God in my last course. I have only two questions and the first was addressed in the first module, ‘Why God?’ The second, derives from the answer that I believe I already know and that is, “How do I manage this pain?” I understand theodicy–existence of evil in the presence of a good God, academically and theologically, but I struggle with it personally. And again, I am a believer. I know God is still good and sovereign, even in the midst of my suffering. I even understand that ‘all things work together for the good of those who love God and called according to His purpose’ (Romans 8:28).

But yet, my heartache still screams, ‘Why, God!’

Somehow, I am still convinced, that by the end of my last course, I will experience God in such a way that I can accept the answers that I am certain I already know.

Knowing God is how Dr. William Lane Craig introduces the Doctrine of God in his lecture at his Defenders Sunday school class. Dr. Craig breaks down this concept into two categories: Infinite and personal.[1] How we know God is how we study God which sums up our relationship and experiences with God. My knowing of God as the transcendent supreme being, who is far beyond my reasonable depth of understanding is easy to swallow heartache and suffering.

However, my personal relationship with God as the immanent supreme being who relates personally to my heartache and suffering is much more difficult for my reason to understand or accept. I believe it is not my understanding that is hindered but my willingness to accept a heartache such as this. In ‘America’s Four Gods,’ Paul Froese and Christopher Bader provide a variety of illustrations of God perceived by different people.

The two authors suggest that God is perceived in humanity as four types: Authoritative, Benevolent, Critical, and Distant which also describes the character of the individual.[2]

Considering my thoughts on the question, ‘Why God,’ I believe I fall into the Authoritative perception of God. I can see all four perspectives in moments of my life but overall, my knowing of God rests in His authority to judge and love me unconditionally. It is a balance that keeps me from veering towards a solely wrathful God and a solely wavering God. I believe the expression of God’s love can feel painful but is still for our good and His ultimate purpose.”

[1] William Lane Craig, Doctrine of God Part 1: An Introduction, Reasonable Faith (lecture, Defenders Reasonable Faith Sunday School, February 16, 2015) https://www.youtu.be/JhqGgPSxm9w (accessed July 3, 2020).

[2] Paul Froese and Christopher Bader, America’s Four Gods: What We Say About God & What That Says About Us (New York: Oxford University Press, 2015) 24.

Academic assignment submitted at Liberty University School of Divinity

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